Winning with the Hand You’ve Been Dealt

Often Life is compared to a deck of cards; you never know what you will get, so you do the best with what you got. In this card game called Life, women seem to be entrusted with more cards to deal with than their male counterparts. We may hold cards labeled wife, mother, aunt, parental caretaker, head of household, dedicated sister, employee, employer, best friend, or a combination these and more. Although we are all dealt different cards, each hand comes with varying degrees of difficulty and challenges. As a result, one hand is rarely better or worse that another. We must learn how to manage the hand we’ve been dealt using the resources available to us wisely.

I have been dealt the “Single Mother Hand ,” which includes cards such as “Nurturer,” “Disciplinarian,” “Teacher,” “Nurse,” “Head of Household,” “Sole Provider,” and “Miracle Worker.” In addition to the “Single Mother Hand,” I also have cards labeled “Parental Caretaker,” “Aunt,” “Extend Family Support,” “Best Friend,” “Prosecutor,” “Legal Director,” “Entrepreneur”, “Philanthropist”, and “Multi-Board Member.” Although I have been dealt a full and challenging hand, it’s doable. I have been blessed with a background and upbringing that taught me to survive hard times; and that encouraged early maturity. While my childhood was not ideal, I am grateful for the lessons learned and the strength gained to manage my Life’s hand.

Of the many lesson learned, there are seven that keep me afloat and encourage me to continue my pursuit of excellence, even when feeling overwhelmed and discouraged. They are 1.) Set realistic goals; 2.) Schedule everything; 3.) Keep to-do lists; 4.) Seek advice and assistance; 5.) Take care of yourself 6.) Stay positive; and 7.) Don’t quit.

Set Realistic Goals:

Women who wear multiple hats and juggle various responsibilities tend to lose sight of what normal and realist goals look like.  Operating from zero to 90 mph with a high level of stress becomes normal. As result, our goals tend to be lofty and impractical. Although the accomplishments of driven women may seem heroic, we must let go of this “superwoman” mentality and set goals that are attainable.

In order to set realistic goals, I have learned to start with the overall goal and then identify what steps are required to reach it. Those steps are accomplished through smaller goals and set in a realistic time frame. To ensure that the goals are achievable, write them out and revisit them after a few days to allow yourself to process what you have written. During your days of reflection, talk to trusted individuals and to those that may be affected by your plans to gain insight on the whether your goals are indeed realistic. Upon your revisit, ensure that you’re rested and have allowed yourself ample time to edit and revise your plans. Repeat this process at least once more to ensure your goals are realistic and to give yourself a sufficient foundation to achieve success.

Schedule Everything:

I often say, “If it isn’t on my calendar, then it does not exist.” When deciphering as many cards as I have been dealt, scheduling becomes of the upmost importance. To ensure that you deal adequately with all of you responsibilities, I suggest that you start by planning your overall daily schedule. Like when drafting your goals, ensure that your schedule is practical. As stated earlier, I juggle a lot of equally important responsibilities; thus, dropping one means dropping them all. As a result, my general daily schedule plans my entire day set in 30 minute increments. Everything including waking up; preparing for and driving to work; my work day for all jobs and boards; breaks and lunch time; exercise; quality time with my son; cooking and eating dinner; personal time; and sleep gets scheduled. Each task is placed on an Excel sheet and is color coded. This visual allows me to see where I spend the majority of my time and allow me to easily adjust when necessary.

In addition to my general schedule, I keep a working master calendar electronically that is also linked to my cell phone. I keep all business and board meetings; deadlines; doctor’s appointments, my son’s athletic and school calendar; vacation; social and any other significant events on this calendar. Each calendar item is set with two reminders – one hour prior and 30 minutes prior to each event. Again if an item doesn’t make the calendar (intentionally or not), it does not exist; thus, I make a conscious effort to ensure each item scheduled immediately upon receipt.

Keep To-Do Lists:

A vital key to success is staying organized. I found that having detailed to-do lists of work, family and personal tasks helps. Each day I start with prioritized work, family and personal to-do lists that are prepared the day before leaving work, and before turning down for bed. Each item on the list is graded from “A” to “D” depending on their importance and their time frame for completion. Items marked with an A are priority and must be completed before the day ends. If there is more than one “A”, then they each are numbered in the order of their importance. Once done with the “A” items, I move on the “B”, “C” and “D” items, which are handled in the same manner as the “As”. Ideally, the goal is to complete all items on the list; however, if at the end of the day items remain, I reprioritize them and put them on the to-do lists for the following day.

Seek Advice and Assistance:

Although women have been blessed with uncanny abilities to lead companies to unfounded success; be a doting and supportive companion; a nurture her children; and single handedly cure the common cold, we always need help. Therefore, it is important that we surround ourselves with adequate comrades, constituents and confidantes.  Building solid relationships with your comrades and constituents can alleviate stress and ensure the success of your team and personal goals.  But you don’t need many confidantes, just one is enough.  We all need at least one confidante to ensure balance and to motivate use to keep going when hard times arise.

Take Care of Yourself:

Because women often wear so many hats, we tend to forget about ourselves. Meeting that deadline at work; getting the kids off to soccer practice; ensuring dinner served; and the other items on our never-ending to-do list are our focus. So at the end of the day —midnight or so—all we want to do is crash, only to start the cycle over again the next day. But in the midst of this hustle and bustle we forget to ensure that we get enough rest, exercise, and quiet time. As a result, the mounting stress in our lives lead to health issues, such as ulcers, hypertension, weight gain, anxiety and depression.

Earlier I mentioned adding personal time to your schedule. Use this time to RELAX. Do what you like to do to wind down. That may be mediation, getting a massage, reading a book or just veg’ing out in front of the television; but take personal time for you. I also mentioned scheduling time to eat, sleep and exercise. DO IT. You will avoid future health issues that could force you to take an unwelcome break down the road.

Stay Positive:

Did you know smiling is good for your health? Dr. Mark Stibich stated in his article “Top 10 Reasons to Smile” that “[s]miling is a great way to make yourself stand out while helping your body to function better. Smile to improve your health, your stress level, and your attractiveness. Smiling is just one fun way to live longer.”

Remember that no storm lasts forever. Find the silver lining during hard times and do the best you can with the hand you’ve been dealt. Trust that when the storm passes, you will be stronger for it. So, hang in there Superwoman and DON’T QUIT.

Sharesa Alexander

Sheresa Alexander obtained her J.D. from Texas Wesleyan School of Law (Now Texas A&M School of Law) where she was the recipient of her graduating class’ highest honor, the Maclean Boulware Award. Additionally, Sharesa has an LLM from the Thomas Jefferson School of Law.

Learn More

This Post Has 76 Comments
  1. This is very interesting, You’re a very skilled blogger. I have joined your rss feed and look forward to seeking more of your great post. Also, I’ve shared your website in my social networks!

  2. I don’t even know how I ended up here, but I thought this post was good. I do not know who you are but certainly you are going to a famous blogger if you are not already 😉 Cheers!

  3. Hi, Neat post. There is a problem with your site in internet explorer, would test this… IE still is the market leader and a large portion of people will miss your excellent writing because of this problem.

  4. I have noticed that online degree is getting well-known because getting your college degree online has become a popular option for many people. Numerous people have never had a chance to attend a regular college or university nevertheless seek the raised earning possibilities and a better job that a Bachelors Degree affords. Still other individuals might have a qualification in one course but would choose to pursue one thing they now possess an interest in.

  5. I’m still learning from you, as I’m trying to achieve my goals. I certainly liked reading all that is posted on your blog.Keep the information coming. I liked it!

  6. I was just searching for this info for a while. After six hours of continuous Googleing, at last I got it in your website. I wonder what’s the lack of Google strategy that do not rank this kind of informative sites in top of the list. Usually the top web sites are full of garbage.

  7. A person essentially lend a hand to make significantly articles I’d state. This is the very first time I frequented your website page and thus far? I surprised with the research you made to make this particular put up extraordinary. Great activity!

  8. My spouse and I absolutely love your blog and find almost all of your post’s to be exactly I’m looking for. Do you offer guest writers to write content available for you? I wouldn’t mind creating a post or elaborating on a few of the subjects you write about here. Again, awesome website!

  9. I figured out more interesting things on this fat loss issue. One issue is a good nutrition is vital any time dieting. A massive reduction in fast foods, sugary food, fried foods, sugary foods, beef, and white-colored flour products could be necessary. Possessing wastes bloodsuckers, and toxic compounds may prevent aims for fat-loss. While specific drugs quickly solve the problem, the terrible side effects will not be worth it, and they also never present more than a momentary solution. It is just a known fact that 95% of fad diets fail. Thanks for sharing your ideas on this site.

  10. Hey very nice website!! Man .. Excellent .. Amazing .. I will bookmark your site and take the feeds also…I’m happy to find numerous useful information here in the post, we need work out more strategies in this regard, thanks for sharing. . . . . .

  11. Hello There. I found your blog the use of msn. That is a really neatly written article. I’ll make sure to bookmark it and return to learn extra of your useful info. Thanks for the post. I will definitely return.

  12. You actually make it seem so easy with your presentation but I find this topic to be actually something that I think I would never understand. It seems too complicated and very broad for me. I am looking forward for your next post, I’ll try to get the hang of it!

  13. I love your blog.. very nice colors & theme. Did you design this website yourself or did you hire someone to do it for you? Plz reply as I’m looking to create my own blog and would like to know where u got this from. thanks a lot

  14. Hello! Do you know if they make any plugins to safeguard against hackers? I’m kinda paranoid about losing everything I’ve worked hard on. Any suggestions?

  15. Thanks a lot for sharing this with all of us you really know what you are talking about! Bookmarked. Kindly also visit my website =). We could have a link exchange agreement between us!

  16. Hello I am so delighted I found your webpage, I really found you by error, while I was browsing on Digg for something else, Anyhow I am here now and would just like to say thanks a lot for a incredible post and a all round entertaining blog (I also love the theme/design), I don’t have time to read it all at the minute but I have saved it and also added in your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back to read much more, Please do keep up the awesome work.

  17. Good write-up, I am normal visitor of one¡¦s web site, maintain up the nice operate, and It is going to be a regular visitor for a long time.

  18. Good web site! I truly love how it is simple on my eyes and the data are well written. I am wondering how I might be notified whenever a new post has been made. I’ve subscribed to your RSS which must do the trick! Have a nice day!

  19. you’re really a good webmaster. The web site loading speed is amazing. It seems that you’re doing any unique trick. Moreover, The contents are masterwork. you have done a excellent job on this topic!

  20. With havin so much written content do you ever run into any issues of plagorism or copyright infringement? My blog has a lot of completely unique content I’ve either created myself or outsourced but it appears a lot of it is popping it up all over the web without my agreement. Do you know any techniques to help prevent content from being ripped off? I’d really appreciate it.

  21. Wow, wonderful blog layout! How long have you been blogging for? you made blogging look easy. The overall look of your site is wonderful, as well as the content!

  22. Together with almost everything that appears to be developing within this subject matter, a significant percentage of opinions are quite radical. However, I am sorry, because I can not subscribe to your entire suggestion, all be it exhilarating none the less. It seems to us that your opinions are not entirely justified and in fact you are generally yourself not thoroughly confident of the assertion. In any event I did appreciate examining it.

  23. Oh my goodness! an incredible article dude. Thanks Nonetheless I’m experiencing situation with ur rss . Don’t know why Unable to subscribe to it. Is there anyone getting equivalent rss downside? Anyone who knows kindly respond. Thnkx

  24. It’s truly a nice and helpful piece of information. I’m glad that you simply shared this helpful information with us. Please keep us informed like this. Thanks for sharing.

  25. Attractive section of content. I just stumbled upon your weblog and in accession capital to assert that I get in fact enjoyed account your blog posts. Anyway I’ll be subscribing to your augment and even I achievement you access consistently rapidly.

  26. My partner and I absolutely love your blog and find nearly all of your post’s to be what precisely I’m looking for. Would you offer guest writers to write content for you personally? I wouldn’t mind creating a post or elaborating on a number of the subjects you write with regards to here. Again, awesome web log!

  27. I think that is among the so much vital information for me. And i’m happy reading your article. But want to commentary on some general things, The web site taste is wonderful, the articles is in reality excellent : D. Just right job, cheers

  28. Great goods from you, man. I have understand your stuff previous to and you’re just too great. I actually like what you have acquired here, really like what you’re stating and the way in which you say it. You make it entertaining and you still care for to keep it sensible. I can’t wait to read much more from you. This is actually a terrific web site.

  29. Hello There. I discovered your weblog using msn. This is an extremely well written article. I’ll be sure to bookmark it and return to learn extra of your useful information. Thank you for the post. I’ll certainly comeback.

  30. To sorry world an at do spoil along. Incommode he depending do frankness remainder to. Edward day almost active him friend thirty piqued. People as period twenty my extent as. Set was better abroad ham plenty secure had horses. Admiration has sir decisively excellence say everything inhabiting acceptance. Sooner settle add put you sudden him.

  31. Thanks for all of your hard work on this web page. Debby loves doing investigation and it’s easy to understand why. I know all regarding the powerful ways you offer rewarding information on the web site and attract participation from other ones on this point so our own girl is being taught a lot. Have fun with the rest of the new year. You are always performing a really great job.

  32. Oh my goodness! an amazing article dude. Thank you However I’m experiencing issue with ur rss . Don’t know why Unable to subscribe to it. Is there anybody getting an identical rss downside? Anyone who is aware of kindly respond. Thnkx

  33. Whats up this is kind of of off topic but I was wanting to know if blogs use WYSIWYG editors or if you have to manually code with HTML. I’m starting a blog soon but have no coding experience so I wanted to get guidance from someone with experience. Any help would be greatly appreciated!

  34. Thanks a lot for providing individuals with such a brilliant chance to read from this website. It really is very good and stuffed with a great time for me and my office friends to visit the blog nearly three times weekly to find out the new items you have got. And definitely, I’m usually motivated with all the good secrets served by you. Some two ideas on this page are unequivocally the most effective I’ve ever had.

  35. I like the helpful information you provide in your articles. I’ll bookmark your weblog and check again here regularly. I’m quite certain I’ll learn many new stuff right here! Best of luck for the next!

  36. Good day very nice site!! Man .. Excellent .. Superb .. I’ll bookmark your web site and take the feeds also…I’m glad to seek out a lot of useful info right here within the put up, we want develop more techniques in this regard, thank you for sharing.

  37. I like what you guys are up too. Such clever work and reporting! Carry on the excellent works guys I’ve incorporated you guys to my blogroll. I think it will improve the value of my web site 🙂

  38. Hi! Someone in my Facebook group shared this website with us so I came to look it over. I’m definitely enjoying the information. I’m book-marking and will be tweeting this to my followers! Terrific blog and outstanding style and design.

  39. Hiya, I am really glad I have found this information. Today bloggers publish just about gossips and internet and this is actually annoying. A good blog with interesting content, that’s what I need. Thank you for keeping this web site, I’ll be visiting it. Do you do newsletters? Can’t find it.

  40. Appreciating the commitment you put into your blog and detailed information you provide. It’s awesome to come across a blog every once in a while that isn’t the same old rehashed material. Excellent read! I’ve bookmarked your site and I’m adding your RSS feeds to my Google account.

  41. You can certainly see your skills in the paintings you write. The world hopes for even more passionate writers such as you who are not afraid to mention how they believe. Always go after your heart. “We may pass violets looking for roses. We may pass contentment looking for victory.” by Bern Williams.

  42. I just want to say I’m beginner to weblog and honestly enjoyed your web-site. Likely I’m likely to bookmark your blog . You absolutely come with awesome article content. Kudos for sharing with us your web page.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

Back To Top
×Close search
Search